Pursuing the Fruits
of the Spirit, Part 2: Gentleness
(Written by my Wife)
But the fruit of the
Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
self-control. Galatians 5:22-23
As I was gathering the scriptures for the second part of
this series that Mel and I are writing, I noticed a trend. Pursing gentleness (and any other fruit) is
equated with pursing the good works that are so important to our Lord. And, yes, our works do matter! Gentleness is not merely a personality trait, it is an
active decision to treat each other with tenderness (Please read all the
scriptures I listed at the end).
In a world full of strife and antagonistic people, it is not
always easy to be gentle, especially when the other person is being the opposite. Do not make the mistake of assuming being
gentle is being weak. Most of my life I
have been told I need to grow a backbone and learn to stand up for myself. Although I enjoy being in the right as much
as most people, I am very shy and I hate confrontation. It used to bother me that I was not more
bold, but the more I read my Bible and study the fruits of the Spirit, the less
I have the need to prove the other person wrong.
I currently work at a job with many strong personalities and,
let’s just say, “bossy” tendencies. I
often came home feeling frustrated and even ganged up on, especially when I had
done nothing wrong. I struggled with
wanting to fight back and with wanting to walk away from the job. Then one morning I started to pray, “Dear Jesus,
I want to purse the fruits of Your Spirit and not let my co-workers’ need to
always be right make me so upset. Please
give me the wisdom and strength I need to glorify Your name.” Since that day, after about my fifth or sixth
week on the job, I was finally able just to smile and say, “Thanks for the
advice,” or, “I’ll try it that way next time,” and not feel offended. It was that prayer, and the direct answer to
it, that inspired the theme for this blog series I asked my husband to write
with me.
As I said above, being gentle is not just a personality
trait one is born with, it is something most of us have to make a deliberate
effort to convey. Rather than shouting
back at a smart alec when you feel it is your right to put him in his place, walk away. The old saying, “If you have nothing nice to
say, then don’t say anything,” is actually good advice. Who cares if the bully thinks you are being
weak by not fighting back? What truly
matters is what God thinks. And our
Savior very much wants us to pursue gentleness with others.
Being gentle also means being compassionate. Earlier today, Mel and I were at a yard sale
where a woman stubbed her bare toe (she was in sandals) on a hard wooden
crate. Mel quickly asked, “Ma’am, are
you okay?” but the woman’s own husband coldly turned his face away from her and
walked away. Mel and I both observed the
hurt look on the face of the wife, as her husband did not bother to acknowledge
her bloody toe. How much it would have
meant to her had he shown her gentleness even if he had used few words but assisted
her to a chair and even kissed her cheek!
Mel and I discussed on the drive home how badly we felt for the
wife. Wives and husbands, please show
each other gentleness and compassion from everything to a stubbed toe to
depression and grief! We do not have to
relate to what the other is feeling or even react to pain in the same way to be
able to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2).
Jesus Christ was by far the most incredible example of
gentleness anyone could ever have exhibited.
It is why so many scriptures refer to Him as a lamb. No, He was not weak, as being gentle does not
make one cowardly. Yes, He corrected the
Pharisees of their legalistic ways and scolded his disciples when they were too
stubborn to understand His words. However,
He spoke the Truth in love. He wept and
prayed for all those he walked among just as He still intercedes for mankind
today. When led to His own horrendous crucifixion,
He did not fight back, but allowed His false accusers to torture Him so He
could die for our sins. That is not only
gentleness personified, it is sacrifice and love exemplified. Doesn’t that only make you want to be gentle
as Christ was (and still is) gentle?
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle
and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and
My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Nevertheless the
solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: "The Lord knows those
who are His," and, "Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart
from iniquity." But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but
also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. Therefore if anyone
cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and
useful for the Master, prepared for every good work. Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace
with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate
strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle
to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will
grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come
to their senses and escape the
snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will. II Timothy 2:19-26
Remind them to be
subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility
to all men. Titus 3:1-2
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.
But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not
boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist,
confusion and every evil thing are
there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,
willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without
hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
James 3:13-18
I, therefore, the
prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you
were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one
another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1-3
Do not let your
adornment be merely
outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-- rather let it be
the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in
the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God
also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. I Peter 3:3-5
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